DON’T JUDGE A BROTHER

            I needed a permanent caregiver, but the social services agency had no nurse’s available for live-in assignments.  Then the staff ran an ad in the local newspaper, only one person responded.  The agency gave Daniel Webster Doe my number and suggested he call me.

            When my student driver dropped me off at my home on the day of our interview, I found a rough-looking man in his fifties waiting on my front porch.  He was half aging hippie, half Hells Angel; a big, burly man with long hair and a bushy beard.  A leopard tattoo peeked out from under the sleeve of his faded t-shirt, and his blue jeans sagged.  An old, beat-up bicycle leaned against the porch steps.  Great! I thought, morosely checking our Mr. Doe’s disheveled appearance and shabby clothes.  They must have advertised for a bar bouncer or a companion for a paralyzed Hell’s Angel.  For a moment I regretted that I hadn’t locked my front door before leaving that morning.  He’s probably already been inside and robbed me blind, I decided. 

            I wondered how quickly I could get rid of him.  It would be impolite just to roll up to the porch and say, “Hello, nice to meet you.  Please leave.”  But obviously, this guy would never do.

            As if to contradict my first impression of him, the huge man quickly rose and  hopped off the porch when he saw the van pull in.  Stepping to the side door, he lifted the door handle, reached inside, and deftly lowered the lift.

            “Hello,” he said with a merry twinkle in his eye.  The friendly smile beneath his beard instantly transformed him from an intimidating hulk to Santa Claus.

            Starting to reach out for a handshake, he quickly shoved both hands in his pockets instead. “I’m Daniel,” he said, eyes still twinkling.

            Surprising myself, I liked him instantly.

            His background was as mottled as his appearance: an abused child, teenage runaway, military veteran, and former alcoholic and drug abuser, he had been married and divorced twice and had even served time in jail—the perfect  companion for a completely dependent, single Christian schoolteacher trying to recover from a broken heart.

            Ours was an odd-couple arrangement that somehow worked, once I finally adjusted to his shortcomings in cooking and housekeeping, I grew to admire and appreciate his more important characteristics: staunch loyalty and great dependability.  Daniels’s heart was as big as his body.  He would do anything for me, and never complained, no matter how many times I called him during the night.

            Daniel Webster Doe was more than  my caregiver for over 17yrs; he became my brother.  One of his favorite lines when someone would ask about me was “I was hired from the neck down, I’m the body, he is the brain. You should as Ron.”  Daniel always had my back.  After Kelli and I were married, Daniel became Papa Doe.  Our girls loved him and he always had a new joke to keep them laughing.  He was part of our family and he celebrated all holidays and family get togethers with us. 

            Daniel Webster Doe left this earth in September of this year.  He now enjoys a better place, and there’s no doubt in my mind he’s been hugging on my mama in heaven.  He loved Jesus and was not afraid to tell you God is your only hope.  I will miss him more than I could possibly express, for nobody in my life can or ever will be able to replace this wonderful man and his amazing friendship. 

            It freaks me out to think I could’ve missed out on Daniel’s life based on my preconceived external biases. I am so glad I got to know him before responding to my initial evaluation.  I can’t help but wonder how many Daniel Does I have rolled on by.  My brother and sister, I encourage you to take a moment and allow yourself the opportunity to prove your preconceived ideas wrong.   Get to know a person from the inside out.  Let’s not make judgment calls before we give a relationship a chance.  “Everyone is once a stranger.”

To become a  partner of the “quad squad”  

I feel as if I let you down, but I know that after you hear my story, you can forgive the fact I have not written for awhile!

I haven’t been feeling well for quite some time now, due to a urinary infection I have had for several months. I was given three or four different antibiotics, and it seemed nothing was killing the bug. MY WIFE TRIED TO SLOW ME DOWN, BUT I FELT RESPONSIBLE TO GET THAT POSITIVE MESSAGE OUT.

I was coming home from a wonderful speaking opportunity for a company called Izigg in San Diego, California when I felt like I was going to die. This was a feeling I had not experienced in ten years. Anyone who knows me realizes that I don’t ever check into the hospital, but this time I was scared. I asked my brother-in-law, who was sitting next to me on the airplane, to call my wife from the runway of the Oakland airport and quietly tell her to meet me at the Portland airport in order to take me to the hospital; this of course freaked her out!

We sat for almost 8 hours in the emergency room.  I had the chills so bad my teeth chattered, my thoughts were distorted, and I wanted to lie down. We spent three days in the hospital; I had low sodium of 120, which is very dangerous and a bad bug that could only be killed by two IV antibiotics. I was discharged after my sodium came back up and spent the next eight days going in and out of the hospital infusion center receiving IV’s through a picc line. I had everyone pray that the infection would go and thank God, I got my reports yesterday and it’s gone!!

So even though I had to cancel all my speaking events I had planned during that time, and felt I let you all down, I am just as happy as I can be to still be here today to say “I love you guys, it’s great to be alive and let’s keep rolling on together…”

With an Attitude of Gratitude,

Ron Heagy and Family

p.s. I am so excited to tell you that we are just $500 a month away from reaching our $2,000 a month goal…. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! If you are interested in joining the Roll on Ron team, check us out at:  www.rollonron.com/give-now  

 “A Labor of Love” 

I spent my Labor Day weekend at the amazing Living Hope Church in Vancouver, WA.  They asked me to share some of my stories and their staff and congregation are just amazing.      

My Labor of Love actually came at the end of my last service.  I was completely exhausted after doing five massages and my neck was hurting so bad that I could hardly talk.  Needless to say, I was not very happy and was actually feeling a little sorry for myself.  My attitude started to change a little when I discovered that one of the ladies volunteering at the church was also a masseuse.  I thought I would bless her, so I gave her the opportunity to practice on my neck.  J 

She was doing an amazing job and I was just starting to feel better when all of a sudden my friend Dave came in and said “I am sorry to bother you Ron, but there are two young children that would really like to see you.”     I have to admit that my initial response was kind of selfish.  I was tired, and my neck still hurt, so I just told him to politely explain my situation.  After thinking about it, I asked my wife, Kelli, if she would do it since she is very sensitive with those types of situations.    

After Kelli went out, she quickly came back in with tears in her eyes and told me that both of these children had extreme physical disabilities.  Somehow God gave me some extra strength and I told her to go ahead and bring the kids in one at a time. 

The first child was a little girl about 16 years old and I will call her Missy.  She has a severe muscle disease but that did not prevent her from giving me two big hugs.  It amazed me that adults won’t give me a hug and this little girl loved it!!  And so did I.  J    

I also told her that she had a beautiful smile and she shyly said “thank you”.   I spoke with her parents for awhile and soon it was time for her to give me a good bye hug.  She gave me a hug and mumbled four words that you could not hear clearly, but I know she said; “I love you Ron.”  Suddenly my neck did not hurt so much and I smiled and said “I love you too.”        

The 2^nd child was my new 4 year old little buddy that I will call Billy.  Kelly was crying as she carried his limp body and sat down on a chair next to me.  As I looked at this handsome blonde haired boy I noticed that he could move his mouth but no words came out.  His beautiful blue eyes with big eye lashes caused my eyes to fill with tears as I saw him looking up at my wife.  I could tell he felt her love even though he had just met her for the very first time.

Billy’s Grandma described how he had become stuck in the birth canal and the intern grabbed his head  pulling too hard and in the process he broke a bone and cut off the blood supply to the umbilical cord.  I was literally sobbing when she finished her story and she blessed me by wiping my tears. He can’t talk, but he didn’t have to because I could see and feel everything through his deep blue eyes as he looked up at me.  

One of my biggest goals in life is to be able to help kids like Missy and Billy and their families.  I was shocked to find out that Billy’s Grandma only gets 90 hours of care giving hour relief help for an entire month!  Billy needs 24 hour care and he gets it mostly from his Grandma. 

So folks, my Labor of Love story is not about me…. It is about the labor and love that these families have for their children and grandchildren with special needs.  I am committed to be a warrior for kids like these and that is why I am thankful you are part of my army.  Hopefully many of you are praying for me and I appreciate that so much.  Some of you are able to help with monthly gifts and that is a blessing too. 

The best way that I can say thank you is to let you know that when Billy’s Grandma set him on my tray and then held his head up to mine…our faces touched.  As my eyes began to fill with tears again, his Grandma said, “Ron, please don’t ever stop speaking… we all need to hear your message.”    

God bless you all and thank you for being on my team! 

Please consider joining the quad squad team to help my family reach our monthly goal www.rollonron.com/give-now/

I want to personally thank Eric, Helena, Stryker & Robin, Ron , Julie, John, Dominic, Tim, Kay, Russell, Peggy, Brian, Clifford, Dan A., Dan D., Nicholas, Kathy, Gary, David, Joann,  Robert, Sharon, Rick and John O.  for becoming Quad Squad members!

Question of the week: Do you base who you are on what you do or is what you do based on who you are?

One of my wife’s favorite singing groups is the Celtic Women so last Wednesday night I had the privilege to take her to see them in Portland, Oregon. I wasn’t as big of a fan as I am now. They were flawless, phenomenal, and very entertaining. I was most impressed by the violinist. She wore a dazzling floor length dress while she danced about the stage like a prancing deer. She spun in circles across the stage without missing a note. When she was finished the crowd rose to their feet with an applause.

As we left the coliseum my wife and I were in awe at the amazing talent of the Celtic Women. On the drive home my mind went back to the violinist and I made the comment, “What if she had not shared her God given talents with everyone in that room? So many people would have missed out on the blessing of her gift”. 

This experience caused me to reflect on my own unique abilities and how many times I was challenged to give up. I recall the difficulties I faced with the first time I wrote a letter with my mouth, the day I started college, the first stroke of my brush on a canvas, to the first speech I gave (all of which were extremely difficult for me to accomplish). There was plenty of times along the way that I was tempted to give up but this experience reminded me that I am unique as are all of you. Yes, there are better violinists and motivational speakers but we all have one thing in common, we are all unique!

I challenge you today to ask the question: Who am I? What is the legacy I want to leave behind? And what do I need to do to continue it or achieve it? I believe that you were fearfully and wonderfully designed for a purpose. Your life counts. You are a unique piece in the puzzle of life. My prayer for you is that you will forget about failures of the past, stop comparing yourself to others, release the fears you have to step out of your comfort zone, and be all you can be.

 Let’s go change the world.

Hi, this is Ron Heagy with your Motivation Monday Message that is actually a question….

What are you willing to sacrifice to help another person? 

Being a quadriplegic, I am often totally dependent on others to meet my most basic physical needs.  I am always appreciative of the care giving and support I receive; however, this week my secretary Amanda took the term “dedicated” to a whole new level!

My wife Kelli was on a much needed R&R vacation so with a full day of important meetings scheduled for Wednesday, on Tuesday night I found myself praying for safety for Amanda that she would arrive on time to pick me up. 

The next day at 8:00 a.m. I was all dressed up and ready to go and all I needed was my driver.  I nervously sat in my wheelchair in the driveway and it kind of reminded me of when I was a kid and the anticipation I felt as I waited for the school bus on the first day of school.  At 8:10 I began to get nervous because there was no sign of Amanda, she had not called, and it was unlike her to be late. 

Suddenly she came flying down the drive way, got out of her car and quickly strapped my chair into the van. After a few minutes of silence and the anticipation of a lame excuse she said “I am so sorry I am late Ron, but you will never believe what I just did to get here!”   Evidently she had grabbed a cup of coffee and gone out the second floor balcony of her house to enjoy the start of a new day, but when the door shut behind her she realized that she was locked out! 

She did not have her phone with her and all she could think of was that if she did not leave to pick me up, that I would be stranded just like she was.  Amanda realized that she really only had two choices; she could wait for someone to come by the house to rescue her, or she could jump approximately 12 feet and land on gravel with her bare feet.    Attack

Believing

I realized, since she was sitting next to me that she chose the 2^nd option, “unbelievable.” It touched my heart that someone outside of my family cared enough about me to risk their life just so that I would not be left alone. I was so thankful for her efforts and even more thankful that God protected her. 

Amanda’s unselfish and heroic act made me stop to realize just how many wonderful people I have in my life.  I am truly grateful for each of you that have shared your time and resources to help me reach my goal of changing people’s lives.   

My challenge to you this week is to look deep inside and answer the question…. “What are you willing to sacrifice to make a difference?”  Amanda was willing to risk injury by jumping 12 ft off a porch, and one of my donor’s sacrifices a Starbucks coffee each week to support my ministry.  They are both heroes in my book and so are YOU!   

Have a great week and I challenge you to look for ways to change someone’s life and I promise it will change yours too!     

Please follow me and PRAY for my Quad Squad this has never been done Thanks for believing in me! check this out now! www.thequadsquad.net

Hello my friend! 

Summer is my favorite time of year!  We have been camping, swimming and whatever else we can enjoy in the sun. There is no doubt, I am solar powered. If I had my way I would live in Arizona or Hawaii but my lovely wife appreciates more of the cooler weather plus Oregon is absolutely beautiful all year around. We love the trees, flowers, mountains, beautiful rivers, and the amazing west coast. Gracie, my five year old, loves the outdoors too and we have been doing some fun planting together.  

The sunshine is a blessing because even though I try to always be “Mr. Positive Attitude”, some days the clouds still roll in.   Does that ever happen to you??  Or is it just me??  J 

The economic challenges Kelli and I face with 24 hour a day caregiver needs for myself  and also raising four kids can be challenging, but challenges have only made me stronger. It is in the toughest times that positive light can shine the brightest. I think the following story demonstrates this fact and I hope it inspires you as much as it did me. 

I received a call from Carl, the school counselor at an elementary school with approximately 300 fourth and fifth graders. Carl informed me that there was a young man in a wheelchair who had muscular dystrophy.  The boy’s prognosis wasn’t good, and he was told that he may not live to see his 21^st birthday.

As you might imagine, this devastating news caused him to go into a deep depression. He stopped caring about school and saw no reason to be excited about life. It was Carl’s hope that I might be able to put on a school assembly and spend some time with the boy. 

Two weeks later I rolled into an energetic gym filled with kids.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my little buddy in his wheelchair, but he wouldn’t even look at me. Students and staff were moved from laughter to tears as they listened to my true stories.  When I was finished, they lined up to view my paintings and I signed some autographs but my mind was focused on trying to find my little buddy. 

I did not see him in the crowd and just when I got discouraged by thinking he had already left, the young man gently bumped my wheelchair with his wheelchair and he asked; “Mr. Heagy would you please spend some time with me?”  I felt a lump in my throat as I looked at this young man’s great big smile and I said “you bet, let’s roll!”  J 

As we were starting to leave, his aid reminded him that it was time for him to go to his special anticipated launch of the rocket he had made in class.  I can’t describe how it warmed my heart to hear the boy say, “thanks … but spending time with Ron is much more important then the rocket!”  

It was great to get to know him better and I even learned that he is an inspiring artist.  I was truly amazed at the detail of his beautiful pencil sketches. He wanted to give me one of his drawings but I asked him if I could buy it instead for $20.00?   A smile as big as Texas came over his face and he looked up at me from his chair and said; “Mr. Heagy you are my new hero!”

Before I left, my little buddy gave me his home phone number and asked me to call his mother because he was now more worried about her than being depressed himself.  Mothers and fathers that care for their children with disabilities need support, so I was happy to call his Mom. If you know of someone with these challenges, I ask you to give them a call. It will be a huge blessing to know that someone cares, and it will also bless you more than you can imagine!

Some of you may want to ask this question; “Ron if you have financial needs, why did you give that boy so many free gifts and $20 for his picture?”    I have three answers:

1)       The smile on his face was priceless!

2)       Buying the drawing gave him a purpose.

3)       I have friends that give me gifts each month and I try to “pay it forward.” 

In summary, if I was in 4^th grade, I honestly do not think I would put spending time with someone like me as more important than launching rockets.  When he chose me, it turned my financial clouds back into sunshine.    When you chose me, it allowed me the opportunity to meet this young man and change his life.  Thank YOU for making this story possible!     

Ron Heagy

PS  Even $5 a month makes a huge difference if you have an army.  J http://rollonron.com/give-now/ 

Jason a 26 year old close friend of mine was on my heart this last week,. My day was a bit crazy so I tried to ignore the voice in my head telling me to call him!  Moments later  I dialed the phone, Jason what's up? I could hear in his voice the presence of doom and dispair. This is one of those times  when you do whatever it takes to be with your friend, so I encouraged him to meet me in my office. The following story we wrote together on that very day, Wow! and i almost let it slip by…

Hope is a bright shining light which keeps darkness at bay, Hope is the gentle cold breeze on a hot summer day…

My mentor Ron, 30 years ago was an all-star football player, dreams of the NFL, 6 ft 3 in 205 lbs of pure muscle, couldn’t be stopped. Girl friends, cool cars, fast motorcycles, popular, good looking, had everything in life going for him. Then he decided to go surfing the day before his 18th birthday, looking out into the California Ocean he saw a wave crashing in, feeling invincible, he said to himself that’s my wave! He ran, dove into the wave and hit his head on a sandbar, his neck went back into his shoulder blades and (cressh), body went limp… floating motionless out to sea he prayed “ God I'm too young to die.”…….

Hope comes when you least expect it

Ladies and gentlemen, 3 weeks ago I had everything. The most beautiful and amazing woman I have ever meet and we’re getting married on Aug 1st. A month long honeymoon in Australia planned. First year in toastmasters and I'm in the world championships. 100K a year job offer on the table at the age of 26. Paid speaking gigs in negotiation. I had two jobs. Lots of friends, I'm physically fit and of course I’m cute!… well that's what mama always told me…

Friends I had everything… 2 weeks before the wedding day, everything planned and paid for, my fiancé comes to my apt one day, looking absolutely stunning then I looked into her eyes, I could see something was wrong… “Baby, she says, I can’t go through with this…”  My legs went weak and I dropped to my knees. Tears pouring down my cheeks. The world had just collapsed. My heart was sick, I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. I turned down the job offer. Told 400 people the wedding was off, and cancelled my World Championship Speech. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I lost all my hope for the future. My heart hit the sandbar of life, and I felt paralyzed floating motionless into the sea of despair…

Hope comes when you least expect it and when you most need it…

I get a call from my friend Ron he says, come on over I’d like to have a word with you. When I got to his house I fell on the floor, tears in my eyes I said, it hurts so bad I don’t know if I can make it through. He said I’ve got a story for you man… “When I was floating out into the ocean my little brother swam in and saved my paralyzed body from drowning. At that point I had lost it all. Parlayed from the neck down my hopes and dreams were shattered. Then one day I meet a young man His head and body strapped to a wheelchair.

I said to this kid, hey how you doing man, my names Ron what your name? He sat there motionless, drool coming out of his mouth, tubes in his neck, breathing through machines – cuuugh-… His mom standing behind him spoke up, his name’s Kevin. Looking into Kevin’s eyes, and I saw so much life. I said, how bad is it Kevin? His mom replied, he’s was paralyzed from the noise down at birth. Never tasted a candy bar, never drank a coke, never told his mom he loves her. Instantly my attitude changed, I said to his mom, what’s the one the he’s always wanted to do… I'm gonna make it happen. Go to Disneyland? You tell me what Kevin dreams of. She looked at me and said, the one thing Kevin wishes he could do, is smile…how much is that worth…?

Hope comes when you least expect it, and when you most need it, and often times from an unexpected source…

I sat up after the story, wiping the tears from my eyes, and said. So hope comes to us, when we reach out and give out. Ron looked at me and said, “Jason, never underestimate the power you have to change somebody's life.” I jumped up off the ground, got onto a computer and along with Ron I wrote this very speech. I called the governor of our toastmasters district, Kathy, and said, can I still speak? She said, you betcha you can!. 

There’s a great hope in life, and it’s not in football, or relationships or weddings, it’s not in honeymoons, or Australia, money or a new job,   fancy cars or even the American dream. Real hope is found in the heart, and it comes out, when we give it out. Even if it's just a smile. The apostle Paul, wrote these words from inside prison walls… “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

Friends who’s waiting for you to bring a little hope into their life? Are you willing to give out, a little hope? Hope comes when we least expect it, and when we most need it, there's someone in your life waiting to receive it. Ladies and gentlemen, give a little hope. My hope, is that I gave you hope, and that makes me… smile

Thought from roll on Ron:

Friends, I encourage you to take some time to write down your story today.

We all have a unique story that can help somebody through the tough times… not to mention what putting it on paper could do for you.

Now roll on and make it a good day, your life truly matters!

JOIN MY QUAD SQUAD TEAM TODAY FOR AS LITTLE AS $5 A MONTH AND I'LL SEND YOU A FREE SMILIEY PAL ON WHEELS  HELP ME PASS A SMILE ON! 

Blessings,

Ron Heagy

My goal, knowing I can drive, is to go to the salt flats and do a speed of 100+.

I want the hope rod to be the vehicial that brings inspiration to the world that even when things are bad we can find a way to overcome the impossible.

The Columbian recent wrote an article about my quest, click here to see the story: http://www.columbian.com/article/20090604/NEWS02/706049946